“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” ― Audre Lorde
I've never been a girly girl.
I don't do frou frou, I don't do precious, and I especially don't do Valentine's day. Until, that is, I started making lingerie.
Under the guise of "research and development" one of the first things I did when I started making undies was to go out and buy some for myself. I had never paid too much mind to my underwear so I knew that I needed to learn a thing or two before launching myself into the making of it.
Instead of learning about the construction of the garments or how to fit someone in the right bra I found myself on a crash course of self love.
Yes, the cheesy catch phrase thrown around lately by everyone claiming #bodypositivity on social media for likes.
I went through puberty very young and have basically been a 34D or 34DD size medium, 27 jeans since I was 12.
I have filled out more, and changed a bit here and there, but for the most part I have had the same body for a long time. When you're 9 and you start growing breasts it's terrifying. And when, by the time you are 11, you've started your period you're living in a child's nightmare.
So by the time I was 12 and the changes finally stopped happening and I settled into my body, I didn't exactly embrace having tits and hips, I just learned to deal with them.
So when I found myself at Winkworth in Red Hook, Brooklyn being encouraged to try EVERYTHING on until I found things that I genuinely loved and fit like a glove I realized just how much I could love wearing pink lace and how much I LOVED MY BODY in the lingerie.
Now, for holidays like Valentine's day I've replaced my sneer and I use them for my own cause, self love. Buying myself something that I genuinely love on my body for myself has become a new ritual. Whether or not there is anyone else there to enjoy it with me is not important.
The point I'm stressing here is that, reclaiming a hallmark card holiday for yourself can feel pretty damn empowering if you carve out a little time to find something that can turn you on to yourself.
It's worth it, trust me.